Echo's Story

I am sorry is if it's long but it's the only way I know how to process. Also TMI warning as it does get very gross towards the end.

As you all know I had my NT scan at 12 weeks and it showed a nuchal translucency of 7mm on Echo's back and neck all the way up to the top of it head. I was given the odds of 1:3 of T21 (Down syndrome) and a 1:16 of T13 & 18. My GP sent me for an Amnio set for the Tuesday 9/3/10 in Brisbane. 

About a week before our trip I got the feeling that things were not quite right. So on the Friday before my trip to Brisbane I went to my GP and asked for a heartbeat check. I just felt the something had happened and what was the point of going all the way to Brisbane if there was no heartbeat. Well my GP decided that she would pander to me, bringing out the oldest doppler that she could find, knowing full well that she wouldn't find it. Instead she had a quick feel and told me that everything felt normal.

So Mum and I went to Brisbane, just making it for my appointment. After about 10 minutes of taking thought how the amnio works it was time for the scan. The bad feeling that I was having got worse as I climbed up on the bed, unzipped my skirt and lifted my shirt. Just as she was about to start the scan she said to me that with the amount of translucency on the baby's neck that there was a possibility that my baby would not have a heart beat. Both Mum and I said that we knew and that we both didn't have a good feeling, thinking that there would be no heartbeat. With in moments of starting the scan I just knew that there was no movement and I could see very clearly that there was no heartbeat. Echo had turned and was now up the right way but with no movement and no heartbeat she asked it she could do an internal scan to confirm. I agreed and with in a few minutes she confirmed that there was indeed no heartbeat and the Echo was only measuring 12w at the most. 

We were then moved to another room where we waited for Dr Carmody. He walked in took one look at me and mum and said 'What a Bugger, such a crappy thing to happen' Then he proceeded to talk us through what the scan showed. After we talked about what would happen now he phoned my GP to talked to her about his findings. After saying who he was he went on to say 'The poor little thing doesn't have a heartbeat'. Just at the moment I looked over at him seeing tears running down his check. I felt so touched that he felt my pain.

After about 20 minutes we were given the plan of what would happen now, we were allowed to leave. The ladies at reception we very kind asking if I needed anything and only billed me for a gyny scan. They then offered me a CD of the images from the scan, I said that I would very much like to have them to keep, as morbid it sounds I just really need to have them.

Mum and I booked in to our hotel room and just sat for what seemed like for ever, then Mum decided that we needed to get out!! She made me change, wash my face, put my shoes on, then she walked me to the train station. A little retail therapy was in order, we walked thought the Queens street mall window shopping all the way. Then Mum had another brain wave, she could see that I could not stop crying so she took me to the best place to cry without people thinking that you are strange - The Movies! We saw 'The Blind Side' from what I remember it was a great movie, I love Sandra Bullock. After the movie we headed back to the hotel stopping to getting comfort food along the way.

We both had a really rough night, Knowing that Echo had gone, but was still in there was one of the hardest things to handle. We got up early and went in to Roma st to have b-fast and to make a few phone calls before we headed out to the airport. We flew out at noon and we landed an hour later. Just as I stood up to get off of the plane I felt what I can only decried as a 'gush' I looked down at my legs to see fluid running down my leg. As quick as I could I walked off of the plane and in to the terminal where I was greeted by my sister with a big hug. I quickly rushed off to the toilets to check, sure enough it was what I thought it was, my waters had broken. We rushed home so that I could get changed and then we were off to see Dr Bush (one of only 2 OBGYNs in town), My GP had rang to him telling him that I was coming in and he was there waiting for me as we walked thought the door. He went though all of the step with me and booked me in for a D&C in the morning. When we finally finished all of the paper work, other checks etc. we headed home about 3pm. 

Mum set me up on couch with a warm chocolate milk and a Krispy Cream donut that she got at the airport. To take our minds off of it we turned the TV on and watched some TV shows. Well not even 10 minutes after we started I fell another 'gush' lucky the pad caught most of it. Off to check it again it was more of my waters. Dr Bush had said to come back in if I was bleeding, so I changed my pad and made myself comfy on the couch again. Well 5 minutes later another 'gush' happened, I quickly ran to the toilet. I looked down as I felt something slide out, sure enough it was Echo. Calling out to Mum I felt another 'gush' this time it was blood. Mum run in, I told her what happened. Quick thinking Mum rushed to get a little bag and a glover and retrieved Echo for the toilet. Mum sent me to get dressed while she ran the hospital telling them that we were coming in. 

Getting dressed took me almost 10 minutes. As every time I had almost finished I need to change the huge over night pad. I went though 6 in 10 minutes. They clearly were not going to cut it so it was on to the old towels. The drive to the hospital took for ever (well 10 minutes) but it felt like for ever. We got to the hospital, I had to check in at the desk and then I walked over to the nurses station where they sat me on a chair while the worked out which room they were putting me into. The midwife on duty decided on the end room (the one the furtherest away from the nursery). Just as I walked in to the room sat on the side of the bed, Dr Bush walked in. He waited over in the corner as the nurses did my obs and got all of the info that they needed. I was still in no pain and apart from the 'gush' every few minutes I felt clear headed and in control. Dr Bush asked me when I had eaten last, 3:30 I said Hmmmmm we will have to wait he said and see how we go before making any decisions. I was admitted at 5:03pm. I was sent in to the toilet to change my pad (towel) they gave me a huge pad the went from my belly button all the way back to my lower back. In 2 hours I had changed it 7 times, they were all taken away to weigh and check. By 8pm I had lost over 1.5kg of blood and clots, and it was time for an injection to stop the bleeding and calm my uterus down. If I didn't stop bleeding by 9pm I was going to be rushed to theater for an emergency D&C. Thankfully the bleeding stopped/slowed by 8:50pm so no emergency trip to theater. Then the cramping began!!!! OMG now I have a high pain threshold but this was like 20x stronger then any period pain and the cramps were so powerful I could fell them on the outside of my tummy. I was offered paracetamol for the pain but nothing else. Mum stayed all night never leaving my side, she slept in the chair beside my bed waking to check on every little move or noise I made, Bless her. 

At midnight I was still in pain, the night nurse offered more paracetamol and a heat pad. No other pain meds were offered and I was nil by mouth after midnight. The heat pad was fantastic it was a little electric blanket that was set on high. By 6am I was in so much pain the new day nurse and the student nurse (that I had yesterday and think that I scared her with all of the blood loss) decided that I needed more pain relief. THANK GOD!!!!! They rang my dr and got me some Tremadol which took the edge off of the pain but didn't take it away. By 8am I was prepped for surgery for 10:30am. By 11:30 I was wheeled back in my room where my sister Honor was waiting for me. She had convinced Mum to go home and get some rest but as long as Honor rang her when I can out of surgery. By 12:30 Mum was back and I was ready to go home, all we had to do was wait for the Dr to come and see me. By 5pm we were still waiting. Finally at 5:30pm we asked how long he would be, the nurse said that she would find him and get back to me. 10 minutes later she came back and handed me my discharge papers and told me to make an appointment in 2 weeks to see Dr Bush. I was given no advice of what to expect and was not told if I needed to take anything. 

After getting home I had something to eat and showered then went to bed. I slept for 11 hours and also slept most of the day away yesterday. Only being woken up by mum every few hours with cups of tea, food, and paracetamol. Finally I felt awake at about 5pm, I decided that I should have a shower and wash my hair. Getting ready for the shower I noticed that my breasts were leaking, thick white milk was running down my chest - yet another cruel blow from my body for me to cope with.

Now all that is left to do is wait for the test results, Echo was sent off for testing Wednesday and we should get the results back at my appointment Thursday week. More resting, recovering, processing, crying, dealing, talking and graving to be done but I am sure that I will be alright. I am even thinking about TTCing again ASAP, as soon as they let me. 

Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and messages over the pass few weeks.